So former All Black Andy Haden has kept his post as a Rugby World Cup Ambassador after apologising for his use of language.

The last few days must have been as bruising as any Mr Haden ever experienced on the rugby field. But now he could create real positives by building on that apology. He could stand up and tell New Zealand that he’s learnt, and so should everyone, that it’s not acceptable to make fun of anyone because of their race or, for that matter, gender, sexuality or disability.

To quote the NZ Herald, Mr Haden’s remarks included “he had no problem with being called a honky by guys he called darkie. He believed terms like coconut were okay if they were used in the right context, in jest, and without any malicious intent”.

The culture of rugby is unique. In few sports do to you put your head, your heart - and your bones - on the line in such a physical way.

It requires a particular character and, yes, a sense of humour but times change. Mr Haden turns 60 this year, it’s to be hoped the language and jokes that were currency in the changing rooms of the 1970s aren’t still around today. 

The major problem is, how many young people read beyond the first few lines of a news story?  The danger is that youngsters, and people overseas, would read the first two lines of coverage or hear snatches broadcast and think that one of our Rugby World Cup Ambassadors thinks it’s okay to use this language.

I have a 10-year-old back line wing who worships the ground that anyone who has ‘worn the shirt’ walks upon. I fervently hope that he never refers to anyone as “a darkie” or any other such terms. 

Rugby World Cup Minister Murray McCully was quoted on Radio NZ as saying Mr Haden was not prepared for the public scrutiny that came with his role. 

It would be interesting to know what media preparation our Rugby World Cup ambassadors have undergone - at a point when the eyes of the world are turning upon them.

It isn’t as if there haven’t been similar incidents before. As former Race Relations Conciliator and All Black Chris Laidlaw said: “Every time something like this comes up we all start dancing on eggshells.

“It's time we got over that and dealt with it rather more maturely. This comes up once every five or 10 years, there's a terrible fuss, everyone gets worked up and nobody's any the wiser after it.”

He’s right and New Zealand does need to wise up. We are talking about the crucial influences for our next generation and the perception of our people that is portrayed to the world. 

Individually and nationally - and particularly with our public ambassadors - we need to be having strong, thorough and heartfelt discussions about what language and behaviour is appropriate and inappropriate in sport, in the media and in daily life.